Subj: The Tony and Larry Show, Part 2
Date: 6/5/2001

The Tony and Larry Show, Part 2

Sunday March 4:
LG: The gas tank isn't empty yet, so I continue to drive. The heavy snow has turned to heavy rain with warning signs flashing, "Gusty Winds Ahead." Tumbleweeds that ranged from one to four feet tall frequently crossed the road and exploded upon impact with cars. Due to my experience driving my NSX in the Northeast I had no trouble avoiding these slow (under 30 MPH) moving dead creatures. Our speeds are limited due to standing water in the road. I'm fearing the extreme driving conditions will drop my gas mileage way below Tony's and repercussions will echo throughout the trip. Because I want to get maximum miles per tankful, my plan is to progressively drive further on empty and on fill up note needle position and gallons consumed. At the gas stop Tony puts in 15.33 gallons which yielded 25.77 mpg (HA, I still beat ya!)
Note: Tony does all the fueling because he doesn't trust me to put in the full amount in an effort to skew the results in my favor (TD: Cheap'O Larry realized he would need to pay for the gas if he filled the tank). (LG: You said it was gonna be all expenses paid!) (TD: You should at least have some common decency to pay for something, rather than just getting a free ride) (LG: hey hey hey.. stop complaining, let's get back to the story)

TD: It's just about noon and my turn to drive. I see the weather breaking and a rainbow ahead. Looks like another fine sunny drive for me :-) We drive by the wind farm (sort of like electric generating windmills). The weather was so nice that I decided to gas up early and continue driving into Vegas. The weather didn't stay nice for long. Eventually I found myself driving through gusty winds with Larry calling/pointing out incoming tumbleweeds by their threat position (e.g., "tumbleweed 10 o'clock closing fast") as they crossed the road in front of me. After dodging enemy fire, it started to rain and contrary to Larry's belief the roads were feeling very slippery to me. (LG: Then how come a woman driving a Ford Escort passed us going up one of the small hills, Mr. Tony?) (TD: The Escort had the advantage of having skinny tires that cut through the rain slicked roads and she had the advantage of having years of experience on these roads unfamiliar to me) Larry directed me to Nellis AFB (Las Vegas, NV) to see if we could get a room. Having no vacancies, we drove to the strip to see the attractions. We then stopped and took the Star Trek adventure at the Hilton. There I bought a family of Tribbles and a few other souvenirs from Quark's Bar. Because it was too late to see any shows we went into another casino to play the slots.

LG: We each get $20 worth of quarters and proceed to the slot machines. My method is to drop one quarter into each machine as I walk around the room. Tony sits at a machine and starts playing his quarters. Vegas isn't as kind to me as it was in the last trip, as the vacuum inside the machines sucked all the quarters out of my pocket in a timely manner. I went back to find Tony, who is still sitting at the same machine playing his original twenty dollars. I watched as he would hit the "Max Bet Button", pull the arm, and hear Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching. I took a deep breath and sighed as I watched him hit the Max Bet Button again, and you guessed it, Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching. I shook my head and walked away. I said to myself "What the heck, it's Vegas, I'll spend another twenty!" A person once asked, "Why do people expect a different result when performing a same action." I forgot that phrase as I kept dropping one quarter into each machine which resulted in the same vacuum pull of quarters out of my pocket. With only my car keys left (TD: he means my extra set to the NSX), I went to find Tony who surely would be as depressed and broke as I am now. I find Tony sitting at the same machine, with boo-koo (actually spelt and pronounced beaucoup, for those of you who haven't bastardized the French language) credits, hitting the Max Bet Button and hearing that ever depressing sound of Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching. Asking Tony how much money he had put into the machine, he said he was still on the original twenty dollars and he was trying to bet it all so we could leave, but quarters kept coming.

TD: I finally managed to lose all my quarters with Larry spreading his luck to me as he watched over my shoulder. We depart the casino looking for an inexpensive place to stay for the night. After checking a few hotels we discovered most of Vegas was booked. One hotel found us a place that required backtracking into CA. Larry suggested we continue on our route and find something on the way. We stopped at the Hacienda Hotel and Casino near Hoover Dam. We went to the front desk to check prices and availability. He said rooms were $49.95 and as he checked his computer for availability, he saw that the rooms were $29.95 which confused him. He asked that we wait while he spoke to the manager. Because of our late arrival (after midnight), we were able to get the weekday rates which were $29.95. Larry can't resist and drops a few more quarters in the slots as we head to our room. (Yes, he loses them all!)

Monday March 5:
TD: We get breakfast at the hotel before we drive the grueling mile to Hoover Dam. Of course during breakfast I am again embarrassed to be in Larry's company. All I can say is that I feel sorry for our waitress. On the way to Hoover Dam the traffic was moving slow and it was hot so I pulled over to take the top off the car. At this time Larry complained that I didn't take it off in the parking lot rather than pulling out of a long line of bumper to bumper traffic. Larry having been at Hoover Dam before wanted to go to the main attraction -- feeding the ground squirrels. Eventually the squirrels came over to me to be fed as they seemed to have been fed up with Larry.

LG: We decided that we spent enough time at the Dam, so we headed back to the car. Part way there Tony realized he lost his camera lens cover and went back to the squirrel hangout to find it. Walking back on opposite sides of the road, Tony was parallel with me keeping up with my fast pace. The unspoken competitiveness in me saw an opportunity to get ahead of Tony without him knowing it. As a long tractor trailer passed between us blocking our view of each other, I started to run to stay masked behind the truck knowing that Tony would be left behind. I was surprised to witness that he had the same evil idea as I had, which was evident as he was still parallel to me as the truck passed. (TD: This is all very frightening as I realize that we share similar thought patterns) We get into the car and Tony drives until we need to fill up.

TD: After leaving the Amargosa desert, gas was getting a little low with signs indicating next gas stops well beyond our remaining fuel range. I stopped at a small gas station to get two gallons of gas to get us to the next major town. That two gallons cost $5 which explains why a fill up was not desirable at this point. I fill up at the next town (Kingman) and put in 17.22 gallons which yielded 24.33 mpg. (LG: Ha, I'm still the king!)
It's now Larry's turn to drive and he is complaining that he wants to put the top back on. I accuse him of wanting better aerodynamics for his tank of gas while he gives me this lame excuse about the sun being too hot and getting sunburn on his head. Needless to say, the roof stays off and Larry's head actually does have a cute red glow to it.

LG: The speed limit is 75 MPH and traffic is moving 80-85 so I feel 90-100 is appropriate for the conditions. (TD: he needs that high speed wind on his head to cool off) With cool songs on the radio, wind in our hair (that's pointing straight backwards), it's a great day to be alive. The roads have slight rises and sweeping curves that make triple digit speeds a pleasure. Our next stop on Larry's western tour will be the Grand Canyon. Proceeding up the canyon road we catch up to a BMW Z3. It seems evident that he does not recognize the type of car that is following him as he speeds up to display his car's prowess. I say "Not today, Beamer Boy", and stay at the same distance behind him. As he starts to approach triple digit speeds, his passenger starts to look out the back to try to identify the silver shadow effortlessly following him. A straight stretch comes and we blow on by and then slow down to speed limits. As we proceed through a small town, to his delight, we let him pass us. Approaching the toll booth to the Grand Canyon, the Z3 stays in the line and I make a quick right turn to a seemingly empty toll booth, pay admission, and cut in front of him again driving at park speeds. We proceed to the South rim, park and walk to the hole in the ground.

TD: Being my first time at the Grand Canyon, Larry acts as a tour guide, showing me what icy ledges of the canyon wall I can stand on, so he can take pictures of me. (LG: I needed a good one to support my statement in the police report for the cause of the accident) (TD: Asss!!!) I wonder why other people comment on how dangerous it seems to be that I am standing on the icy ledge. While I wait for Larry to slowly take a picture, I remember all his comments referring to my car as his car ... Hmmm what evil thoughts does he have lurking in that bright red head of his? I survive the ledge and we proceed to several lookouts, then return to the gift shop where the car is parked. Inside the shop I find several items I like to have including a mandrel which is sometimes called a dream catcher. The colorful mandrels in the gift shop are nice but their colors have a feminine appearance. I asked if they had others and was directed to their other gift shop a little over a half mile away (downhill) along the canyon rim. The stores were closing in 15 minutes so I asked, if we didn't like the other store's mandrel could we return and get one here. They said no, since the store would close promptly at 7 pm and it was unlikely we could make the round trip fast enough. While running to the other store, people looked at us in admiration of our health and exercise routines at a 6000 foot altitude, not realizing it was merely in desperation of obtaining a few souvenirs. I bought the mandrel, and while Larry finished the transaction, I ran back uphill to the first gift shop hoping to get other gifts before closing. Larry arrived shortly after, with his arm up like the Statue of Liberty holding the mandrel from dragging on the ground. The store clerks were amazed that we both made it back before closing and wondered which of us would collapse in their store first. (LG: Hey, I'm a fit military man. Tony's going down!) They packed my goodies and we headed back to the car. (It's amazing how much stuff you can get into an NSX!)

Larry continued the drive towards Tucson where we stayed for the night at a Days Inn.
At the gas stop I put in 15 gallons which yielded 29.6 mpg for Larry. (I think Larry's head is swelling -- not sure if it's pride or blistering sunburn)
There are two things that Larry's hoping I will see while in the desert; one is a solo rain cloud in the midst of a clear blue sky, the other is a sunrise that turns the whole sky orange. Because this will be the only morning we will be in the desert, he wants to get up before sunrise, even though we are both dragging from our previous days' adventures.


Stay tuned for Tuesday and Wednesday...

Larry G. and Tony D.

Gusty Winds Ahead
Good weather breaking through
Rainbow
Scenic mountains overlooking a train
Wind Farm
Hoover Dam
Ground Squirrel
75 MPH Speed Limit
Pleasurable curves
Grand Canyon
Larry
Tony
Another Grand Canyon lookout