Subj: Larry gets culture
Date: 7/20/00

Hi Gang:
It's been real busy at work and Craig had back to back CAP events. So with my Ginkgo Biloba "low capsule light" flashing, I may forget some of the good stuff. So for those of you who were there, if I left any note worthy stuff out, E-mail me and I'll add it. I hope this story doesn't turn into the theme from the old song that went, "Yes, I remember it well."

I have always thought that it would enhance my personal growth to see a Broadway play. Being an "out of towner," I wasn't brave enough to go by myself. Hearing that the musical "Cats" was coming to an end, I tried to con Peter and Sylvia into going with me. I knew Syl had culture from listening to her experiences in NYC. I thought she was the best person to secure tickets so I asked if she would investigate and she agreed. As weeks passed, I learned that she hadn't got that "round toit" so I teased her about it. What I didn't know was the amount of work she brings home and that she really didn't have time to do it in the first place, but only agreed to because of her friendship towards me. Finding that all tickets had been sold out for the remaining shows left me pretty down hearted from having waited so long. (It's kind of like everything in life, you think it will always be around, or there will always be a next time, but opportunities do run out) A local radio station advertised that the Parks & Recreation group had purchased tickets to Cats and anyone interested in a group ride to NYC from Harrisburg, PA should call them. I called Pete to ask if they would be interested in buying the tickets (price included show + trans.) and I would drive to their house and the three of us would go down together. They agreed. During another conversation, Syl asked if I had called for the tickets, I said "no," which brought a response that was akin to "finding that round toit isn't as easy as it sounds!" I said, "No, they were closed and I would have to wait until next week" (I could tell I hit a nerve on that one....eek!) [NOTE: Syl and I are in the friendly brother and sister relationship. We enjoy each others company, but she's not afraid to let me know when I could use some refinement :-)
I got the tickets and on the appointed weekend I proceed to the Mills'. Peter has coined the phrase, "If you make it (the bed)....he will come." This started back when for almost a month, I was at their house every weekend. I can only imagine the debates about whether the bed should be made or not. I have often pictured Sylvia making the bed, with Peter running towards it yelling, "Nooooooo", as he leaps through the air in Superman style to stop the bed making process. It's like opening Pandora's Box or the Monkey's Paw. It sounds good on the surface but. .......
They had prepped me on the type of clothing to bring. I thought I might have to wear a suit, they were happy if I didn't wear jeans and a T-shirt. After changing clothes for the event (heck, I even took vinyl cleaner to my sneakers) I was looking at the tickets and saw the price. The next part is for everyone but Pete and Syl.
[I don't know if the purchase price was higher than what was on the ticket because of the final days, but let's just say what was paid for the tickets (even though it included round trip transportation) was quite high. I assume they saw the price also. If they didn't, and the read this, I'll be lucky if they let me sleep on the deck!]
OK Pete and Syl, you can look now.
Well, to say the least, I was very touched. To think that they were willing to pay premium prices to escort me to NYC brought a tear to my eye. ( I'm getting sentimental in my old age, but recovered before anyone noticed)

CULTURE POINT #1: Although saying zinger lines like, "Wow, I haven't had a screwing like that in years!" can be fun when said in jest. A "cultured person" can get a more profound impact by not saying anything. Zinger opportunities are a dime a dozen.

We traveled in their "TL" with Pete at the helm. This was enjoyable as I was able to view the sights while Syl played tour guide. I discovered that Broadway was a street more than an area of town. Peter found a parking garage and proceeded in. I was still in shock from the parking rates and was thinking, "Do we REALLY want to park here?", when my attention was diverted to a more pressing matter.......Peter.

CULTURE POINT #2: Cultured people don't quibble over price. Guest comfort comes first.

(This man has been watching too many chase scenes.) Peter had this uncontrollable urge to accelerate as we descended into the parking garage. Going around and around and aro_ndd (shit, I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it). I was thrust into the door with my face pressed against the glass and all I could hear was, "clipped that apex; got that one, set up for the next one"; and then we "irked" to a quick stop so as not to hit the car in front.
The spiral down the parking garage and the ride up the elevator was like a trip through a worm hole in space. One minute you're out of control and the next......you're in a new land.
Ahhh, New York City, the BIG APPLE, and they say the neon lights are bright on Broadw.....Peter notices I'm off in la la land and comes back to usher me on before I get mugged, flim flamed, or other things that happen to obvious tourists. Syl is playing tour guide again while Peter sets the pace and direction of travel. At least he's trying. Numerous times he has turned around not to find us close at hand. I am amazed at Syl's prowess in NYC. Here is a woman that gets lost one mile from her house if it's not on her usual route, yet knows her way around the complex of buildings. (how does she do it?) In order to keep this story to an acceptable length, I'll skip the part about the show other than to say, we had great seats, enjoyed it, and got to go on stage. After the show we ate at Olive Garden (which was more elaborate than the ones I've been in). I think Cats had more of an effect on me than I realized, for when Sylvia excused herself to the ladies room, I had this feminine feline urge to go at the exact same time, so I followed her to the litter box.

PREVIOUS LEARNED CULTURE POINT: Women appreciate when you wait for them.

After the meal we explored the sights that I had only seen on TV. One of my highlights was a stop at Saint Patrick's Cathedral where I lit two candles in memory of Dad and Aunt Ann (who died before their journey to the Cathedral could be made).
The trip home revealed the most inspirational culture point.

CULTURE POINT #3: Culture is a learned art.

I had always considered the art of culture to be something that you were born with. Sure, I can turn it on when I have to, but for others, it just seemed to come naturally. I now have new hope that with a lot of perseverance, I too can "get culture" and suppress the rude and crude person within. How do I know this? Well, if you had heard the language come out of the Lovely Sylvia's mouth in reference to the other drivers!!! :-o and her defending its use! Wow, either she was once like me and has groomed herself into the fine lady she is......or, when unexplainable things happen the only reply can be "Only in New York!"
Larry G.