Subj: Celebrating our differences
Date: 4/18/2003 12:38:57 AM Eastern Daylight Time

Hello:
I was returning home from Alabama in the Pilot and was listening to a Southern talk show called the John Boy and Billy show. The topic was the difference between Liberal and Conservative points of view dealing with a hypothetical question. Here is the situation.

You are walking down the street with your wife and kids. When all of a sudden, a nude man comes running at you with a long knife shouting obscenities. Under your jacket you are carrying a pistol for which you have a permit. You are an expert marksman. What should you do?

Liberal answer:

Possibly the man is only mad at you, so if you just step to the side, your family will be safe and while the man is stabbing you in the leg, you could ask why he is so upset? Maybe as he charges towards you, you can use your pistol as a club and knock the knife from his hand? Maybe this is just a fraternity prank and as he passes by, you can give him the thumbs up!

Conservative answer:

BANG!

Southern Conservative answer:

BANG!...BANG!...BANG! BANG! BANG!...BANG! BANG!...click,click,click (reload) BANG! BANG!, "I think I see his leg twitching!, BANG! BANG! BANG! To which your daughter says, "Nice group shot, Dad!"

Such is life,
Larry G.